When I say I am a Chipper fan that is a understatement. I am a fanatical, tyrannical fan of the man. Some would even call it and unhealthy obsession. Not Kathy Bates in Misery obsessed. I am not going to tie him to the bed and break his legs, nor would I be the creepy stalker who digs through his garbage. I do have some self control and sanity. However, he is usually the first thing on my mind when I get up and the last thing on my mind when I got to bed.
I would like to explain WHY I am the way I am with him and why I took the news so hard last night. There are the logical reasons. He is a great player, he is a Brave and I admit it, he is a good looking. There is another main reason though that not many people will share with me. After a year of this blog and getting to know some of you I feel comfortable bringing this up.
I have Asperger's Syndrome, which is on the mild end of the autism spectrum. In a nut shell it means I have a lot of trouble socializing. I talked about my anxiety around people in a previous post The anxiety stems from this. I sometimes feel like a deaf mute trying to navigate through the world.
It is one of the main reasons for this blog, so I can communicate with others on my own terms. The social interaction I get from you people and trough conducting trades is often the only social interaction I get. It has been a lifesaver for me.
I was diagnosed when I was 17. Previously I had never even heard of the word.. My family knew that these was always something a little “off” with me though. I would trip over my own feet, loud noises would make me cover my hand over my ears, I couldn't stand tags in shirts. Most of the time school was a synonym for hell. I was picked on horribly and just couldn't seem to fit in. I had seen doctors before. One mentioned I just needed some “friends” and that I could outgrow said issues.
It didn't get better and they did not just go away. In the 11th grade I had been having thoughts of suicide. I ended up seeing a psychologist and on the very first meeting she asked my mom if she had every heard of Aspergers. It fit me to a T. Finally we had answers for why did the things I did.
There are often other issues that accompany Aspergers. One of them being a special interest. People with Aspergers often get fixated on a certain topic. It could be trains, or dinosaurs, or whatever. They find out all they can about said interest and often talk about it obsessively.
For me that is a a person, Chipper Jones. Don't get me wrong, I love the Braves and baseball. but Chipper is "special." I know I talk about him to much. I bring his name up constantly around the house. Multiple times a day in fact. If a day went by that I didn't mention his name, my mom would think there was something seriously wound with me She is sick to death of hearing about Chipper and yet I have a very hard time not bringing him up.
If there is a Chipper item I have to get it, if he is on the news I have to see him, if there is an article about him I have to clip it out. I get anxious when I can't do these things. When I was younger I would say I wanted to marry him. The thing that I talk about endlessly, will no longer be in my daily life. My dream come true would be to meet him. To shake his hand would mean the world to me.
Now that obsession is gone. It is like losing a limb almost. He has been my interest for fifteen years. I hope that he may come back next year, but he might not. I will still follow the Braves and watch the games. I am a fan and Chipper will not change that. It just will not be the same.
Thank you for sharing. I have two boys, one has been diagnosed with Autism, and the other is in the process of being diagnosed. For myself, I was just diagnosed with ADHD at the young age of 31. So I can relate on the Aspergers side, and the side of dealing with something with out knowing what it is.
ReplyDeleteIt is a shame people have to grow up without knowing just what is the matter with them. It has only been in the last decade or so the Asperger's and even ADHD was really addressed and brought into the public.
ReplyDeleteI hope the best for you and your boys. I don't know what end of the spectrum your boys are at, but if you ever need any help or advice on perhaps why they do such and such, feel free to contact me. Sometimes it helps to look at a problem from the inside.
We are very fortunate. Our sons are getting diagnosed early, and through early intervention they are improving so much. My oldest (4) is very high functioning now.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you shared as well, and very sorry that Chipper's career may be at an end. My first favorite team growing up was the Braves thanks to Fred McGriff, and I have a lot of fond memories of watching Chipper play. You could hardly have picked a better player to be interested in for the past 15 years...he was definitely a great one!
ReplyDeleteI'm inspired by you and admire you for talking about the fact you have Asperger's. I was told at the age of 40 that I have Adult ADD. I know that's really nothing compaired to what you might struggle with though. I find blogging and collecting have helped me in some ways also. I'm a Chipper fan too, but I do believe you are the ULTIMATE Chipper fan! And yes....he is quite handsome! In his press conference today he hopes to plan to return for Spring Training and if all goes well he could possible still be a part of your daily life again! Keep up this awesome blog of yours!
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